She bent over in her very frequent chore of setting a cup and saucer of black turkish coffee on the table before her father in law. His eyesight is continually failing him and so when she holds out her hand to receive his( for the custom of touching her chin and forehead to it as a sign of service and respect) he often misses the gesture completely and she drops her hand back to her side as she walks back to her post at the stove.
But this time, on her return trip she was surprised by the sharp pain that met the back of her skull. The weapon, an apple. The assailant, he father in law.
The apple bounced off of her head onto two more heads of the grandchildren sitting on the floor. all three were stunned and baffled at the unexpected attack.
He had picked up the apple with what seemed an idle threat to throw it at his wife. I tried to take it from his up-turned palm but he clenched it tightly and jerked it up to his shoulder opposite me. There is no determining what ruffled his feathers or why he chose Nebat as his target but even if there was a cause and even if that cause had been somehow by the hand or mouth of Nebat - I am having a very hard time reconciling why a man who claims to be a follower of Jesus and the recipient of His great love would lash out in such a way.
This is not the first, or even close to the most violent instance of his anger manifest - but I guess it was the most dramatic I have witnessed firsthand.
Violence and physical abuse is a very common occurrence, in fact, in that home. baby Betty gets slapped in the face repeatedly with little warning. There is the constant raised hand with or without an object occupying it... it is a very natural response to any and every circumstance.
O LORD - liberate them from their habits. from their patterns of abuse. from their lack of self control. from their tempers (that do not bring about the righteous life that God requires.
TRANSFORM THEM!!!
12 January 2010
04 September 2009
amigos
well, it's official. nebat and i are friends.
I have been praying so much since meeting her that we could cross over the barrier that was in place with her as a servant to serve the guests of her inlaws.
we have hung out and walked and talked and joked one on one several times over the past few weeks.
oh hallelujah. answered prayer. what a beautiful thing.
today, salija and i prayed for a daughter of salija, and while we were praying i saw nebat putting her baby's little hands in the praying position.
she, herself, seems to have no interest or intrigue when it comes to what i believe or why...
as i have spent more time with her i have seen her in many circumstances and observed a lot of severe coping habits she has formed. she is so desperate to escape the drudgery of the moment.
salija has become more gracious to her and talks to her more as an equal. but nebat's father in law is sadly in a very selfish rut, where nebat (or anyone else for that matter) is of little consequence to him outside of what they need to do for him.
she serves and serves and serves. not always with a smile, and not always without disdain... but she continues on.
salija sets an amazing example for the most part of faithfulness and tremendous work ethic despite situational burdens.
i hope that as she learns to give more grace to nebat, nebat will start seeing the beauty in salija as she serves and works hard and desire to have whatever it is that salija has that helps her do that.
and that, my friend, is the one and only Jesus.
I have been praying so much since meeting her that we could cross over the barrier that was in place with her as a servant to serve the guests of her inlaws.
we have hung out and walked and talked and joked one on one several times over the past few weeks.
oh hallelujah. answered prayer. what a beautiful thing.
today, salija and i prayed for a daughter of salija, and while we were praying i saw nebat putting her baby's little hands in the praying position.
she, herself, seems to have no interest or intrigue when it comes to what i believe or why...
as i have spent more time with her i have seen her in many circumstances and observed a lot of severe coping habits she has formed. she is so desperate to escape the drudgery of the moment.
salija has become more gracious to her and talks to her more as an equal. but nebat's father in law is sadly in a very selfish rut, where nebat (or anyone else for that matter) is of little consequence to him outside of what they need to do for him.
she serves and serves and serves. not always with a smile, and not always without disdain... but she continues on.
salija sets an amazing example for the most part of faithfulness and tremendous work ethic despite situational burdens.
i hope that as she learns to give more grace to nebat, nebat will start seeing the beauty in salija as she serves and works hard and desire to have whatever it is that salija has that helps her do that.
and that, my friend, is the one and only Jesus.
12 August 2009
friends are friends forever
so i had been praying for months and months about when i could be able to talk to nebat just as a friend. or when i could even just be there without her being sent of to the other room or to do chores.
i got a chance, but didn't realize it until i had missed it, i felt so sad over it. and renewed my prayer efforts for more chances.
then a week or two later it came.
nebat did henna tattoos and colored my hair. we were together, with salija, but without sejdo, for nearly 7 hours straight.
nothing major or spiritual was discussed, but the wall separating guest from servant was crumbled and on the other side we both found a friend.
the other day i went over to welcome back salija and sejdo from their trip to serbia. but they had not yet returned, so i sat and had coffee and pancakes with just nebat. just the two of us.
it was sweet.
now i feel like our relationship in entering a stage of comfort and more familiarity.
while this is most awesome - it also comes with the caveat that familiarity can sometimes muttle the sense of urgency to share Christ.
i pray it isn't so.
Nebat's brother in law (her husbands younger brother, salija's youngest son) has accepted Christ this week!!!
praises abound from my heartspring.
he is the one that was saying he could not be a christian because he cannot read.
oh praise God that the lie of needing to be literate to believe was exposed and overcome.
in christ.
amen.
now the prayer is that he will fall in love with Christ daily and hear from him, even though He won't be able to read the Word for himself (yet).
and for a man of God to come alongside him and his father to teach them in love how to live according to God's will.
and that nebat will see a transforming work in these men and will not be able to hold in questions and will start to search for the answer. and when we seek - we will find....
for open doors to talk with my new FRIEND about the love of my life.
i got a chance, but didn't realize it until i had missed it, i felt so sad over it. and renewed my prayer efforts for more chances.
then a week or two later it came.
nebat did henna tattoos and colored my hair. we were together, with salija, but without sejdo, for nearly 7 hours straight.
nothing major or spiritual was discussed, but the wall separating guest from servant was crumbled and on the other side we both found a friend.
the other day i went over to welcome back salija and sejdo from their trip to serbia. but they had not yet returned, so i sat and had coffee and pancakes with just nebat. just the two of us.
it was sweet.
now i feel like our relationship in entering a stage of comfort and more familiarity.
while this is most awesome - it also comes with the caveat that familiarity can sometimes muttle the sense of urgency to share Christ.
i pray it isn't so.
Nebat's brother in law (her husbands younger brother, salija's youngest son) has accepted Christ this week!!!
praises abound from my heartspring.
he is the one that was saying he could not be a christian because he cannot read.
oh praise God that the lie of needing to be literate to believe was exposed and overcome.
in christ.
amen.
now the prayer is that he will fall in love with Christ daily and hear from him, even though He won't be able to read the Word for himself (yet).
and for a man of God to come alongside him and his father to teach them in love how to live according to God's will.
and that nebat will see a transforming work in these men and will not be able to hold in questions and will start to search for the answer. and when we seek - we will find....
for open doors to talk with my new FRIEND about the love of my life.
07 June 2009
PRAY
there will be a volunteer coming fir 3 weeks in july. we are praying that she will be able to lead a Bible study on Ruth.
I asked Salija if she would like to come and bring her daughters and Nebat.
Sejdo was protesting and coming up with reasons why she couldn't go.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray that there will be a way made for Nebat to here the Word of God and come to know Christ despite the discouraging words of those around her, especially those who claim to believe.
please pray.
I asked Salija if she would like to come and bring her daughters and Nebat.
Sejdo was protesting and coming up with reasons why she couldn't go.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray that there will be a way made for Nebat to here the Word of God and come to know Christ despite the discouraging words of those around her, especially those who claim to believe.
please pray.
03 June 2009
developments
well. baby betty has started walking!
it is pretty cute little splay footed quick stepping with a giant cheesey smile on her face. she is pumped.
Nebat is surviving. As Sejdo gets sicker he gets more down. and that effects his actions and reactions to things. negatively.
there are still NON STOP comments made about Nebat and how much she eats and how lazy she is. They're said as if she is not in the room. and even when she really isn't in the room.
The heart-changing word of God needs to be read, spoken and lived in this household. so so badly.
Sejdo has asked for he and Salija to be baptized. I am praying so much that this event will be able to display the serious change and DEATH to old self that is happening inside both of them.
it is pretty cute little splay footed quick stepping with a giant cheesey smile on her face. she is pumped.
Nebat is surviving. As Sejdo gets sicker he gets more down. and that effects his actions and reactions to things. negatively.
there are still NON STOP comments made about Nebat and how much she eats and how lazy she is. They're said as if she is not in the room. and even when she really isn't in the room.
The heart-changing word of God needs to be read, spoken and lived in this household. so so badly.
Sejdo has asked for he and Salija to be baptized. I am praying so much that this event will be able to display the serious change and DEATH to old self that is happening inside both of them.
04 May 2009
despair
as i sat on the well worn couch next to sejdo i looked at nebat. she was sitting on the floor holding baby betty in her lap. she had sought refuge in the adjoining room, but sejdo told her that she needed to bring betty into the room where the guest (me) is.
betty squirmed and expressed her restlessness in little squeals and grunts. but nebat's face remain unchanged. she stared at the floor as if she could see through it into the darkness of the pit in which she lives.
her eyes sort of glazed and her posture slumped. she was the absolute picture of despair.
this day i had gotten so mad at sejdo. he ran his mouth more than ever before about nebat.
he will say to her and about her over and over and over how fat she is, how lazy she is, how dumb she is.
these words are all coming out of the mouth of a man who has seen christ jesus in a vision. a man who has accepted the forgiveness and grace of god. a man who says that he entrusts his life to the washing and renewal of the blood of Him who saves.
my heart ached so deeply as i recalled these words: (these are my prayer for him. won't you pray with me?)
eph 4: 17So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. 19Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.
betty squirmed and expressed her restlessness in little squeals and grunts. but nebat's face remain unchanged. she stared at the floor as if she could see through it into the darkness of the pit in which she lives.
her eyes sort of glazed and her posture slumped. she was the absolute picture of despair.
this day i had gotten so mad at sejdo. he ran his mouth more than ever before about nebat.
he will say to her and about her over and over and over how fat she is, how lazy she is, how dumb she is.
these words are all coming out of the mouth of a man who has seen christ jesus in a vision. a man who has accepted the forgiveness and grace of god. a man who says that he entrusts his life to the washing and renewal of the blood of Him who saves.
my heart ached so deeply as i recalled these words: (these are my prayer for him. won't you pray with me?)
eph 4: 17So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. 19Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.
20You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. 21Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. 22You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
25Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26"In your anger do not sin"a]">[a]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27and do not give the devil a foothold. 28He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.
29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
eph 5: 1Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.28 March 2009
nebat's brother in law has said before, 'i can't be a christian because i don't know how to read'
think about that.
does that break your heart?
the lies that seem so ludicrous to us run deep and are keeping these prisoners in darkness. the only way that people are able to have faith is by the working of the holy spirit. if it weren't for Him stirring and moving hearts i think so many people that are believers would not be. because if it were up to us we will obviously believe any lie that will keep us on the easy road. like, 'you can't do that lifestyle or believe in that because you can't read' or 'what do you need that for? you are already happy.'
and if it were dependent on circumstances most of us would never come to believe.
i look around and i see these kids growing up in a world and in a culture that offers them absolutely zero hope. none.
or i think about the affluent, and if their circumstance dictated their ability to believe, why would they? they have everything that this world says is desirable... so what more could they want, and why on earth would they want to submit to something that says this isn't all there is?
so on either side you can see that circumstances and self are incapable of causing us to believe.
it is the Holy Spirit alone.
Today I got an envelope of letters from a second grade class.
one said, "dear Nebat, My name is Zach. I am praying for you. I hope you learn to trust my Jesus!"
Oh Lord, I pray for Nebat too. Her circumstances can't make her trust you. The lies being whispered and believed all around her are keeping her in darkness. It is you alone that can stir her to know you and trust you. Lord, I praise you for saving her in laws. I praise you for your plan for that family. I praise you for whatever reasons that contribute to your glory you created them. Save Nebat Lord! Lead her from the dungeon. Loose the chains around her. Give her hope in you. A hope not of this world. A hope that transcends her situations and culture and past.
think about that.
does that break your heart?
the lies that seem so ludicrous to us run deep and are keeping these prisoners in darkness. the only way that people are able to have faith is by the working of the holy spirit. if it weren't for Him stirring and moving hearts i think so many people that are believers would not be. because if it were up to us we will obviously believe any lie that will keep us on the easy road. like, 'you can't do that lifestyle or believe in that because you can't read' or 'what do you need that for? you are already happy.'
and if it were dependent on circumstances most of us would never come to believe.
i look around and i see these kids growing up in a world and in a culture that offers them absolutely zero hope. none.
or i think about the affluent, and if their circumstance dictated their ability to believe, why would they? they have everything that this world says is desirable... so what more could they want, and why on earth would they want to submit to something that says this isn't all there is?
so on either side you can see that circumstances and self are incapable of causing us to believe.
it is the Holy Spirit alone.
Today I got an envelope of letters from a second grade class.
one said, "dear Nebat, My name is Zach. I am praying for you. I hope you learn to trust my Jesus!"
Oh Lord, I pray for Nebat too. Her circumstances can't make her trust you. The lies being whispered and believed all around her are keeping her in darkness. It is you alone that can stir her to know you and trust you. Lord, I praise you for saving her in laws. I praise you for your plan for that family. I praise you for whatever reasons that contribute to your glory you created them. Save Nebat Lord! Lead her from the dungeon. Loose the chains around her. Give her hope in you. A hope not of this world. A hope that transcends her situations and culture and past.
14 March 2009
baby betty birthday
i posted a few of the jillions of photos from baby betty's first birthday. it was hilarious and loud and hot and crowded. there were about 17 people all in the tiny abode. cousins brothers sisters and even a phone call from germany was in the mix.
nebat is doing well. still lost. but healthier and seems happier than she was for a while.
but you and i know that happiness is fleeting and that true joy is found in only one source. please continue praying for nebat.
salija is working with us on the headstart lunch program.
one son has resumed washing cars a few days a week.
the other son, nebat's husband, has been cut down drastically on his working hours.
please pray that the spirit of our great God and Savior will dwell richly in salija and sejdo and their house hold. that the hearts of the unbelievers will be opened to the Truth.
one son has heard and comprehends the gospel, but has said that he can not be a christian because he doesn't know how to read.
heartbreaking.
please help us pray these types of barriers down!
nebat is doing well. still lost. but healthier and seems happier than she was for a while.
but you and i know that happiness is fleeting and that true joy is found in only one source. please continue praying for nebat.
salija is working with us on the headstart lunch program.
one son has resumed washing cars a few days a week.
the other son, nebat's husband, has been cut down drastically on his working hours.
please pray that the spirit of our great God and Savior will dwell richly in salija and sejdo and their house hold. that the hearts of the unbelievers will be opened to the Truth.
one son has heard and comprehends the gospel, but has said that he can not be a christian because he doesn't know how to read.
heartbreaking.
please help us pray these types of barriers down!
20 February 2009
29 January 2009
dedo sejdo /day-doe/ /say-doe/ (grandpa sejdo)
the other night i had a brief history lesson with my boss. this is what i learned:
sejdo is nebat's father in law.
when nebat was to marry jamie, sejdo's son, it was the beginning of a very dramatic story.
sejdo has had diabetes for a while.
one of the days of the weeding someone broke the front window of the house. sejdo stepped on the broken glass. his foot got infected. and with his diabetes it would not heal. it got worse. and worse. and worse.
he went to the hospital but was turned away.
finally they decided to admit him, after two other doctors' referred him and waiting and waiting.
although they admitted him, they refused to treat him. saying that he was too far gone, but he could die there.
by the grace of God they had a change of heart. by this time, though his entire leg, from the hip, would have to be removed.
after they removed the leg. they released him to go home giving the responsibility of dressing the wound to his wife.
she faithfully served and cared for him for months while his wounds healed.
during this time, salija was a believer. but sejdo was not.
one night sejdo had a dream.
Christ appeared to him. He was naked. sejdo was yelling for salija to get a coat for him to give Jesus.
Christ said, 'I don't need your covering, sejdo. you need mine.'
then later, sejdo saw a blinding light - the presence of the Lord.
he was saved after these visions.
he told my boss, 'being with Jesus is like Noah and the ark. the people on the boat lived, and the people that were not on the boat died. That's like being with Jesus.'
beautifully put.
He and salija have been reading the Word.
Today we talked about how God gives and God takes. how God heals. how God deserves glory for when we are healed. how He deserves glory when we are sick. how only with God is living really a life.
(this past month has been difficult. sejdo's leg had developed more sores that are leaking. he has been sick. the baby betty has been sick. nebat has been sick. today sejdo felt better. and i will not ignore that we have been praying for him heartily for two days.... related? yes.
the health issues with this family are constant and real. but WITH GOD they will be well. one day, if they know Christ as their savior, their faulty bodies will be no more. they will never be sick again.)
sejdo is nebat's father in law.
when nebat was to marry jamie, sejdo's son, it was the beginning of a very dramatic story.
sejdo has had diabetes for a while.
one of the days of the weeding someone broke the front window of the house. sejdo stepped on the broken glass. his foot got infected. and with his diabetes it would not heal. it got worse. and worse. and worse.
he went to the hospital but was turned away.
finally they decided to admit him, after two other doctors' referred him and waiting and waiting.
although they admitted him, they refused to treat him. saying that he was too far gone, but he could die there.
by the grace of God they had a change of heart. by this time, though his entire leg, from the hip, would have to be removed.
after they removed the leg. they released him to go home giving the responsibility of dressing the wound to his wife.
she faithfully served and cared for him for months while his wounds healed.
during this time, salija was a believer. but sejdo was not.
one night sejdo had a dream.
Christ appeared to him. He was naked. sejdo was yelling for salija to get a coat for him to give Jesus.
Christ said, 'I don't need your covering, sejdo. you need mine.'
then later, sejdo saw a blinding light - the presence of the Lord.
he was saved after these visions.
he told my boss, 'being with Jesus is like Noah and the ark. the people on the boat lived, and the people that were not on the boat died. That's like being with Jesus.'
beautifully put.
He and salija have been reading the Word.
Today we talked about how God gives and God takes. how God heals. how God deserves glory for when we are healed. how He deserves glory when we are sick. how only with God is living really a life.
(this past month has been difficult. sejdo's leg had developed more sores that are leaking. he has been sick. the baby betty has been sick. nebat has been sick. today sejdo felt better. and i will not ignore that we have been praying for him heartily for two days.... related? yes.
the health issues with this family are constant and real. but WITH GOD they will be well. one day, if they know Christ as their savior, their faulty bodies will be no more. they will never be sick again.)
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