despair

as i sat on the well worn couch next to sejdo i looked at nebat. she was sitting on the floor holding baby betty in her lap. she had sought refuge in the adjoining room, but sejdo told her that she needed to bring betty into the room where the guest (me) is.
betty squirmed and expressed her restlessness in little squeals and grunts. but nebat's face remain unchanged. she stared at the floor as if she could see through it into the darkness of the pit in which she lives.
her eyes sort of glazed and her posture slumped. she was the absolute picture of despair.

this day i had gotten so mad at sejdo. he ran his mouth more than ever before about nebat.
he will say to her and about her over and over and over how fat she is, how lazy she is, how dumb she is.
these words are all coming out of the mouth of a man who has seen christ jesus in a vision. a man who has accepted the forgiveness and grace of god. a man who says that he entrusts his life to the washing and renewal of the blood of Him who saves.
my heart ached so deeply as i recalled these words: (these are my prayer for him. won't you pray with me?)
eph 4: ¹⁷So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. ¹⁸They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. ¹⁹Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.

²⁰You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. ²¹Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. ²²You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; ²³to be made new in the attitude of your minds; ²⁴and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.

²⁵Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. ²⁶"In your anger do not sin"^a]">[a]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, ²⁷and do not give the devil a foothold. ²⁸He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.

²⁹Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ³⁰And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. ³²Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

eph 5: ¹Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children ²and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.