the beginning

okay, you may have read the following post on my other blog but i have decided that i want to devote an entire space for Nebat alone. I want to give you a window into how her story as it is unfolding. Hopefully it will be the journey of her finding our Savior. So i will leave you with the thoughts that have started it all:

she was created in the image of God. in beauty and with deeply set desires and instincts. at her core she is longing for adventure and to know that she is beautiful. she wants so desperately to be a part of something big. she wants to know that she is worth something. she wants to know that someone will risk something for her. she wants to know that her life matters. She was born into a culture that sees her as something to have babies. her mother. her sisters. her friends. they are all married off at young ages in order to maximize the window of baby having opportunity. her sister in law is 21 and has five children so far. she is 22 years old. the mother of one daughter.
she, like every other wedded Roma girl, lives with her husband in his parents' household. and she, like every other wedded Roma girl is expected to serve the new household in whatever way they see fit, for however long they see fit. not unlike a lowly servant.
she knew this was what her future looked like. she expected this. so you can't really say she is too disappointed, because she knew. but there is no ignoring that whispering abyss inside. there is no way to silence the nagging that there is more.
surely hours of laundry by hand, outside in 19* weather every day wasn't what she was created for. surely listening to her new in laws talk about her as if she were not even in the room isn't the answer to the wanting. surely being excluded from conversation while her child is the center of attention is not 'it'. surely there is more to living than this.

if only she knew Christ. even freezing laundry water, could not cool the passion for life inside of her. if only she knew Christ, even when she is treated like she doesn't exist, she would know that there is One who loves her. if only she knew Christ, even if the rest of her days were lived in a two room house with two other families - cooking and cleaning, she would have a hope that assures her that her life is not a waste. if only she knew Christ she would see that there is a bigger story and she does play a role in it. if only she knew Christ those deep longings that currently show no sign of ever being quieted will be not only satisfied - but fully contented. if only she knew Christ there would be a point to all of this. there would be a point to taking care of her child. there would be a point to doing laundry. there would be a point to submitting to her family. there would be a point to having a mind and body that function well. there would be a point to who she was born as. to where she lives. to who she knows. to who she is.

she is Nebat.