fala

bang bang bang.
i knock on the gate made from scrap sheet metal and peer through the crack into the front 'yard'. i see the usual puddles and clothes hanging to dry and shoes piled by the front door.
but no sign of stirring. but i know that the house is never unoccupied. so i knock again.
I see nebat's face appear in the doorway of the house.
"Nebat! Emily ovde!"
She smiles and begins to slide on her shoes. as she maneuvers around the puddles and various items stacked along the path i see she has nothing more than socks and backless house slippers on her feet. i think about what i am carrying in my backpack and my excitment rises to enter in their home.
after a short time i find myself stepping down into the main room of the home. it is warm and dark and i see sejdo sleeping away on the couch. salija comes from the other room to greet me and escort me in. through the curtain divider i go removing my gloves and backpack. i slide into the warm place where someother body was just sitting on the couch. baby betty is playing away. surrounded by toys and other stimulants for her active and growing mind. she smiles up at me with recognition.
'kaje zdravo tetka emily,' salija says (tell aunt emily hello)
nebat enters in wiping her hands on her skirt, "dali sakash kafe ili chai?" (do you want coffe or tea?)
"ne fala" (no thanks)
"zoshto?" (why?)
"okay, kafe e dobro, fala fala" (okay, coffee is good, thank you)
she returns with coffe and a glass of coke for me, then just as speedily disappears.
through the window i see her pass by back and forth, busying herself whlie the guest is here.

salija and i talk. we laugh and talk about how betty will play with trash forever while her toys sit idley by. then we pause to watch betty put torn peices of paper in a small empty medicine box and then take them out again. and replace them and remove them. again and again.

we talk about our families and other things that my conversational level can handle.

all the time i am glancing at my backpack. hoping that the chance will arrive to reveal its contents to the one for whom they're intended.

nebat reappears and before she can vanish again, "Nebat, imam neshto za tebe." (nebat, i have something for you)
"za mene?" (for me)
a smile spreads across her tired face.
"da da za tebe"
i reach over to my bag and pull out the rain boots that have been anxiously awaiting their debut.
"znam deka ima voda i mraz hadbor cekogash, pa ce hadebam deka ovie ke bide dobri za tebe"
(i know that there is water and ice outside all the time, so i hope these will be good for you)
she hesitantly reaches for the boot i am holding out, as if not sure that it's really for her.
she slips it on and begins chattering at salija in rapid fire jamboski.
"fala mnogu. fala."
"nishto"
we all just smile at each other for a while.
I don't remember the words, but nebat showed me her socks and said that they are always wet after she goes outside and then threw in a few more thank yous.
my heart was glad.
{thank you God for the idea from my mom to get these for her, what a simple thing. please use them to usher her closer to knowing you. please use them however you wish. i pray for a real relationship with nebat}
then the deep voice of sejdo comes calling from the other room.
nebat is gone again.

i finish my coffee and continue to chat with salija until it feels right to say goodbye.

as i come through the curtain into the main room, there is nebat. on her hands and knees scrubbing the rug with a small brush. and sejdo has changed positions but returned to sleep.

nebat gets up to go wash her hands so she can say goodbye and betty, salija, nebat and i walk to the front gate.