there will be a volunteer coming fir 3 weeks in july. we are praying that she will be able to lead a Bible study on Ruth.
I asked Salija if she would like to come and bring her daughters and Nebat.
Sejdo was protesting and coming up with reasons why she couldn't go.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray that there will be a way made for Nebat to here the Word of God and come to know Christ despite the discouraging words of those around her, especially those who claim to believe.
please pray.
07 June 2009
03 June 2009
developments
well. baby betty has started walking!
it is pretty cute little splay footed quick stepping with a giant cheesey smile on her face. she is pumped.
Nebat is surviving. As Sejdo gets sicker he gets more down. and that effects his actions and reactions to things. negatively.
there are still NON STOP comments made about Nebat and how much she eats and how lazy she is. They're said as if she is not in the room. and even when she really isn't in the room.
The heart-changing word of God needs to be read, spoken and lived in this household. so so badly.
Sejdo has asked for he and Salija to be baptized. I am praying so much that this event will be able to display the serious change and DEATH to old self that is happening inside both of them.
it is pretty cute little splay footed quick stepping with a giant cheesey smile on her face. she is pumped.
Nebat is surviving. As Sejdo gets sicker he gets more down. and that effects his actions and reactions to things. negatively.
there are still NON STOP comments made about Nebat and how much she eats and how lazy she is. They're said as if she is not in the room. and even when she really isn't in the room.
The heart-changing word of God needs to be read, spoken and lived in this household. so so badly.
Sejdo has asked for he and Salija to be baptized. I am praying so much that this event will be able to display the serious change and DEATH to old self that is happening inside both of them.
04 May 2009
despair
as i sat on the well worn couch next to sejdo i looked at nebat. she was sitting on the floor holding baby betty in her lap. she had sought refuge in the adjoining room, but sejdo told her that she needed to bring betty into the room where the guest (me) is.
betty squirmed and expressed her restlessness in little squeals and grunts. but nebat's face remain unchanged. she stared at the floor as if she could see through it into the darkness of the pit in which she lives.
her eyes sort of glazed and her posture slumped. she was the absolute picture of despair.
this day i had gotten so mad at sejdo. he ran his mouth more than ever before about nebat.
he will say to her and about her over and over and over how fat she is, how lazy she is, how dumb she is.
these words are all coming out of the mouth of a man who has seen christ jesus in a vision. a man who has accepted the forgiveness and grace of god. a man who says that he entrusts his life to the washing and renewal of the blood of Him who saves.
my heart ached so deeply as i recalled these words: (these are my prayer for him. won't you pray with me?)
eph 4: 17So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. 19Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.
betty squirmed and expressed her restlessness in little squeals and grunts. but nebat's face remain unchanged. she stared at the floor as if she could see through it into the darkness of the pit in which she lives.
her eyes sort of glazed and her posture slumped. she was the absolute picture of despair.
this day i had gotten so mad at sejdo. he ran his mouth more than ever before about nebat.
he will say to her and about her over and over and over how fat she is, how lazy she is, how dumb she is.
these words are all coming out of the mouth of a man who has seen christ jesus in a vision. a man who has accepted the forgiveness and grace of god. a man who says that he entrusts his life to the washing and renewal of the blood of Him who saves.
my heart ached so deeply as i recalled these words: (these are my prayer for him. won't you pray with me?)
eph 4: 17So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. 19Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.
20You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. 21Surely you heard of him and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. 22You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
25Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26"In your anger do not sin"a]">[a]: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27and do not give the devil a foothold. 28He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.
29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
eph 5: 1Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children 2and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.28 March 2009
nebat's brother in law has said before, 'i can't be a christian because i don't know how to read'
think about that.
does that break your heart?
the lies that seem so ludicrous to us run deep and are keeping these prisoners in darkness. the only way that people are able to have faith is by the working of the holy spirit. if it weren't for Him stirring and moving hearts i think so many people that are believers would not be. because if it were up to us we will obviously believe any lie that will keep us on the easy road. like, 'you can't do that lifestyle or believe in that because you can't read' or 'what do you need that for? you are already happy.'
and if it were dependent on circumstances most of us would never come to believe.
i look around and i see these kids growing up in a world and in a culture that offers them absolutely zero hope. none.
or i think about the affluent, and if their circumstance dictated their ability to believe, why would they? they have everything that this world says is desirable... so what more could they want, and why on earth would they want to submit to something that says this isn't all there is?
so on either side you can see that circumstances and self are incapable of causing us to believe.
it is the Holy Spirit alone.
Today I got an envelope of letters from a second grade class.
one said, "dear Nebat, My name is Zach. I am praying for you. I hope you learn to trust my Jesus!"
Oh Lord, I pray for Nebat too. Her circumstances can't make her trust you. The lies being whispered and believed all around her are keeping her in darkness. It is you alone that can stir her to know you and trust you. Lord, I praise you for saving her in laws. I praise you for your plan for that family. I praise you for whatever reasons that contribute to your glory you created them. Save Nebat Lord! Lead her from the dungeon. Loose the chains around her. Give her hope in you. A hope not of this world. A hope that transcends her situations and culture and past.
think about that.
does that break your heart?
the lies that seem so ludicrous to us run deep and are keeping these prisoners in darkness. the only way that people are able to have faith is by the working of the holy spirit. if it weren't for Him stirring and moving hearts i think so many people that are believers would not be. because if it were up to us we will obviously believe any lie that will keep us on the easy road. like, 'you can't do that lifestyle or believe in that because you can't read' or 'what do you need that for? you are already happy.'
and if it were dependent on circumstances most of us would never come to believe.
i look around and i see these kids growing up in a world and in a culture that offers them absolutely zero hope. none.
or i think about the affluent, and if their circumstance dictated their ability to believe, why would they? they have everything that this world says is desirable... so what more could they want, and why on earth would they want to submit to something that says this isn't all there is?
so on either side you can see that circumstances and self are incapable of causing us to believe.
it is the Holy Spirit alone.
Today I got an envelope of letters from a second grade class.
one said, "dear Nebat, My name is Zach. I am praying for you. I hope you learn to trust my Jesus!"
Oh Lord, I pray for Nebat too. Her circumstances can't make her trust you. The lies being whispered and believed all around her are keeping her in darkness. It is you alone that can stir her to know you and trust you. Lord, I praise you for saving her in laws. I praise you for your plan for that family. I praise you for whatever reasons that contribute to your glory you created them. Save Nebat Lord! Lead her from the dungeon. Loose the chains around her. Give her hope in you. A hope not of this world. A hope that transcends her situations and culture and past.
14 March 2009
baby betty birthday
i posted a few of the jillions of photos from baby betty's first birthday. it was hilarious and loud and hot and crowded. there were about 17 people all in the tiny abode. cousins brothers sisters and even a phone call from germany was in the mix.
nebat is doing well. still lost. but healthier and seems happier than she was for a while.
but you and i know that happiness is fleeting and that true joy is found in only one source. please continue praying for nebat.
salija is working with us on the headstart lunch program.
one son has resumed washing cars a few days a week.
the other son, nebat's husband, has been cut down drastically on his working hours.
please pray that the spirit of our great God and Savior will dwell richly in salija and sejdo and their house hold. that the hearts of the unbelievers will be opened to the Truth.
one son has heard and comprehends the gospel, but has said that he can not be a christian because he doesn't know how to read.
heartbreaking.
please help us pray these types of barriers down!
nebat is doing well. still lost. but healthier and seems happier than she was for a while.
but you and i know that happiness is fleeting and that true joy is found in only one source. please continue praying for nebat.
salija is working with us on the headstart lunch program.
one son has resumed washing cars a few days a week.
the other son, nebat's husband, has been cut down drastically on his working hours.
please pray that the spirit of our great God and Savior will dwell richly in salija and sejdo and their house hold. that the hearts of the unbelievers will be opened to the Truth.
one son has heard and comprehends the gospel, but has said that he can not be a christian because he doesn't know how to read.
heartbreaking.
please help us pray these types of barriers down!
20 February 2009
29 January 2009
dedo sejdo /day-doe/ /say-doe/ (grandpa sejdo)
the other night i had a brief history lesson with my boss. this is what i learned:
sejdo is nebat's father in law.
when nebat was to marry jamie, sejdo's son, it was the beginning of a very dramatic story.
sejdo has had diabetes for a while.
one of the days of the weeding someone broke the front window of the house. sejdo stepped on the broken glass. his foot got infected. and with his diabetes it would not heal. it got worse. and worse. and worse.
he went to the hospital but was turned away.
finally they decided to admit him, after two other doctors' referred him and waiting and waiting.
although they admitted him, they refused to treat him. saying that he was too far gone, but he could die there.
by the grace of God they had a change of heart. by this time, though his entire leg, from the hip, would have to be removed.
after they removed the leg. they released him to go home giving the responsibility of dressing the wound to his wife.
she faithfully served and cared for him for months while his wounds healed.
during this time, salija was a believer. but sejdo was not.
one night sejdo had a dream.
Christ appeared to him. He was naked. sejdo was yelling for salija to get a coat for him to give Jesus.
Christ said, 'I don't need your covering, sejdo. you need mine.'
then later, sejdo saw a blinding light - the presence of the Lord.
he was saved after these visions.
he told my boss, 'being with Jesus is like Noah and the ark. the people on the boat lived, and the people that were not on the boat died. That's like being with Jesus.'
beautifully put.
He and salija have been reading the Word.
Today we talked about how God gives and God takes. how God heals. how God deserves glory for when we are healed. how He deserves glory when we are sick. how only with God is living really a life.
(this past month has been difficult. sejdo's leg had developed more sores that are leaking. he has been sick. the baby betty has been sick. nebat has been sick. today sejdo felt better. and i will not ignore that we have been praying for him heartily for two days.... related? yes.
the health issues with this family are constant and real. but WITH GOD they will be well. one day, if they know Christ as their savior, their faulty bodies will be no more. they will never be sick again.)
sejdo is nebat's father in law.
when nebat was to marry jamie, sejdo's son, it was the beginning of a very dramatic story.
sejdo has had diabetes for a while.
one of the days of the weeding someone broke the front window of the house. sejdo stepped on the broken glass. his foot got infected. and with his diabetes it would not heal. it got worse. and worse. and worse.
he went to the hospital but was turned away.
finally they decided to admit him, after two other doctors' referred him and waiting and waiting.
although they admitted him, they refused to treat him. saying that he was too far gone, but he could die there.
by the grace of God they had a change of heart. by this time, though his entire leg, from the hip, would have to be removed.
after they removed the leg. they released him to go home giving the responsibility of dressing the wound to his wife.
she faithfully served and cared for him for months while his wounds healed.
during this time, salija was a believer. but sejdo was not.
one night sejdo had a dream.
Christ appeared to him. He was naked. sejdo was yelling for salija to get a coat for him to give Jesus.
Christ said, 'I don't need your covering, sejdo. you need mine.'
then later, sejdo saw a blinding light - the presence of the Lord.
he was saved after these visions.
he told my boss, 'being with Jesus is like Noah and the ark. the people on the boat lived, and the people that were not on the boat died. That's like being with Jesus.'
beautifully put.
He and salija have been reading the Word.
Today we talked about how God gives and God takes. how God heals. how God deserves glory for when we are healed. how He deserves glory when we are sick. how only with God is living really a life.
(this past month has been difficult. sejdo's leg had developed more sores that are leaking. he has been sick. the baby betty has been sick. nebat has been sick. today sejdo felt better. and i will not ignore that we have been praying for him heartily for two days.... related? yes.
the health issues with this family are constant and real. but WITH GOD they will be well. one day, if they know Christ as their savior, their faulty bodies will be no more. they will never be sick again.)
20 January 2009
fala
bang bang bang.
i knock on the gate made from scrap sheet metal and peer through the crack into the front 'yard'. i see the usual puddles and clothes hanging to dry and shoes piled by the front door.
but no sign of stirring. but i know that the house is never unoccupied. so i knock again.
I see nebat's face appear in the doorway of the house.
"Nebat! Emily ovde!"
She smiles and begins to slide on her shoes. as she maneuvers around the puddles and various items stacked along the path i see she has nothing more than socks and backless house slippers on her feet. i think about what i am carrying in my backpack and my excitment rises to enter in their home.
after a short time i find myself stepping down into the main room of the home. it is warm and dark and i see sejdo sleeping away on the couch. salija comes from the other room to greet me and escort me in. through the curtain divider i go removing my gloves and backpack. i slide into the warm place where someother body was just sitting on the couch. baby betty is playing away. surrounded by toys and other stimulants for her active and growing mind. she smiles up at me with recognition.
'kaje zdravo tetka emily,' salija says (tell aunt emily hello)
nebat enters in wiping her hands on her skirt, "dali sakash kafe ili chai?" (do you want coffe or tea?)
"ne fala" (no thanks)
"zoshto?" (why?)
"okay, kafe e dobro, fala fala" (okay, coffee is good, thank you)
she returns with coffe and a glass of coke for me, then just as speedily disappears.
through the window i see her pass by back and forth, busying herself whlie the guest is here.
salija and i talk. we laugh and talk about how betty will play with trash forever while her toys sit idley by. then we pause to watch betty put torn peices of paper in a small empty medicine box and then take them out again. and replace them and remove them. again and again.
we talk about our families and other things that my conversational level can handle.
all the time i am glancing at my backpack. hoping that the chance will arrive to reveal its contents to the one for whom they're intended.
nebat reappears and before she can vanish again, "Nebat, imam neshto za tebe." (nebat, i have something for you)
"za mene?" (for me)
a smile spreads across her tired face.
"da da za tebe"
i reach over to my bag and pull out the rain boots that have been anxiously awaiting their debut.
"znam deka ima voda i mraz hadbor cekogash, pa ce hadebam deka ovie ke bide dobri za tebe"
(i know that there is water and ice outside all the time, so i hope these will be good for you)
she hesitantly reaches for the boot i am holding out, as if not sure that it's really for her.
she slips it on and begins chattering at salija in rapid fire jamboski.
"fala mnogu. fala."
"nishto"
we all just smile at each other for a while.
I don't remember the words, but nebat showed me her socks and said that they are always wet after she goes outside and then threw in a few more thank yous.
my heart was glad.
{thank you God for the idea from my mom to get these for her, what a simple thing. please use them to usher her closer to knowing you. please use them however you wish. i pray for a real relationship with nebat}
then the deep voice of sejdo comes calling from the other room.
nebat is gone again.
i finish my coffee and continue to chat with salija until it feels right to say goodbye.
as i come through the curtain into the main room, there is nebat. on her hands and knees scrubbing the rug with a small brush. and sejdo has changed positions but returned to sleep.
nebat gets up to go wash her hands so she can say goodbye and betty, salija, nebat and i walk to the front gate.
i knock on the gate made from scrap sheet metal and peer through the crack into the front 'yard'. i see the usual puddles and clothes hanging to dry and shoes piled by the front door.
but no sign of stirring. but i know that the house is never unoccupied. so i knock again.
I see nebat's face appear in the doorway of the house.
"Nebat! Emily ovde!"
She smiles and begins to slide on her shoes. as she maneuvers around the puddles and various items stacked along the path i see she has nothing more than socks and backless house slippers on her feet. i think about what i am carrying in my backpack and my excitment rises to enter in their home.
after a short time i find myself stepping down into the main room of the home. it is warm and dark and i see sejdo sleeping away on the couch. salija comes from the other room to greet me and escort me in. through the curtain divider i go removing my gloves and backpack. i slide into the warm place where someother body was just sitting on the couch. baby betty is playing away. surrounded by toys and other stimulants for her active and growing mind. she smiles up at me with recognition.
'kaje zdravo tetka emily,' salija says (tell aunt emily hello)
nebat enters in wiping her hands on her skirt, "dali sakash kafe ili chai?" (do you want coffe or tea?)
"ne fala" (no thanks)
"zoshto?" (why?)
"okay, kafe e dobro, fala fala" (okay, coffee is good, thank you)
she returns with coffe and a glass of coke for me, then just as speedily disappears.
through the window i see her pass by back and forth, busying herself whlie the guest is here.
salija and i talk. we laugh and talk about how betty will play with trash forever while her toys sit idley by. then we pause to watch betty put torn peices of paper in a small empty medicine box and then take them out again. and replace them and remove them. again and again.
we talk about our families and other things that my conversational level can handle.
all the time i am glancing at my backpack. hoping that the chance will arrive to reveal its contents to the one for whom they're intended.
nebat reappears and before she can vanish again, "Nebat, imam neshto za tebe." (nebat, i have something for you)
"za mene?" (for me)
a smile spreads across her tired face.
"da da za tebe"
i reach over to my bag and pull out the rain boots that have been anxiously awaiting their debut.
"znam deka ima voda i mraz hadbor cekogash, pa ce hadebam deka ovie ke bide dobri za tebe"
(i know that there is water and ice outside all the time, so i hope these will be good for you)
she hesitantly reaches for the boot i am holding out, as if not sure that it's really for her.
she slips it on and begins chattering at salija in rapid fire jamboski.
"fala mnogu. fala."
"nishto"
we all just smile at each other for a while.
I don't remember the words, but nebat showed me her socks and said that they are always wet after she goes outside and then threw in a few more thank yous.
my heart was glad.
{thank you God for the idea from my mom to get these for her, what a simple thing. please use them to usher her closer to knowing you. please use them however you wish. i pray for a real relationship with nebat}
then the deep voice of sejdo comes calling from the other room.
nebat is gone again.
i finish my coffee and continue to chat with salija until it feels right to say goodbye.
as i come through the curtain into the main room, there is nebat. on her hands and knees scrubbing the rug with a small brush. and sejdo has changed positions but returned to sleep.
nebat gets up to go wash her hands so she can say goodbye and betty, salija, nebat and i walk to the front gate.
19 January 2009
the beginning
okay, you may have read the following post on my other blog but i have decided that i want to devote an entire space for Nebat alone. I want to give you a window into how her story as it is unfolding. Hopefully it will be the journey of her finding our Savior. So i will leave you with the thoughts that have started it all:
she was created in the image of God. in beauty and with deeply set desires and instincts. at her core she is longing for adventure and to know that she is beautiful. she wants so desperately to be a part of something big. she wants to know that she is worth something. she wants to know that someone will risk something for her. she wants to know that her life matters. She was born into a culture that sees her as something to have babies. her mother. her sisters. her friends. they are all married off at young ages in order to maximize the window of baby having opportunity. her sister in law is 21 and has five children so far. she is 22 years old. the mother of one daughter.
she, like every other wedded Roma girl, lives with her husband in his parents' household. and she, like every other wedded Roma girl is expected to serve the new household in whatever way they see fit, for however long they see fit. not unlike a lowly servant.
she knew this was what her future looked like. she expected this. so you can't really say she is too disappointed, because she knew. but there is no ignoring that whispering abyss inside. there is no way to silence the nagging that there is more.
surely hours of laundry by hand, outside in 19* weather every day wasn't what she was created for. surely listening to her new in laws talk about her as if she were not even in the room isn't the answer to the wanting. surely being excluded from conversation while her child is the center of attention is not 'it'. surely there is more to living than this.
if only she knew Christ. even freezing laundry water, could not cool the passion for life inside of her. if only she knew Christ, even when she is treated like she doesn't exist, she would know that there is One who loves her. if only she knew Christ, even if the rest of her days were lived in a two room house with two other families - cooking and cleaning, she would have a hope that assures her that her life is not a waste. if only she knew Christ she would see that there is a bigger story and she does play a role in it. if only she knew Christ those deep longings that currently show no sign of ever being quieted will be not only satisfied - but fully contented. if only she knew Christ there would be a point to all of this. there would be a point to taking care of her child. there would be a point to doing laundry. there would be a point to submitting to her family. there would be a point to having a mind and body that function well. there would be a point to who she was born as. to where she lives. to who she knows. to who she is.
she is Nebat.
she was created in the image of God. in beauty and with deeply set desires and instincts. at her core she is longing for adventure and to know that she is beautiful. she wants so desperately to be a part of something big. she wants to know that she is worth something. she wants to know that someone will risk something for her. she wants to know that her life matters. She was born into a culture that sees her as something to have babies. her mother. her sisters. her friends. they are all married off at young ages in order to maximize the window of baby having opportunity. her sister in law is 21 and has five children so far. she is 22 years old. the mother of one daughter.
she, like every other wedded Roma girl, lives with her husband in his parents' household. and she, like every other wedded Roma girl is expected to serve the new household in whatever way they see fit, for however long they see fit. not unlike a lowly servant.
she knew this was what her future looked like. she expected this. so you can't really say she is too disappointed, because she knew. but there is no ignoring that whispering abyss inside. there is no way to silence the nagging that there is more.
surely hours of laundry by hand, outside in 19* weather every day wasn't what she was created for. surely listening to her new in laws talk about her as if she were not even in the room isn't the answer to the wanting. surely being excluded from conversation while her child is the center of attention is not 'it'. surely there is more to living than this.
if only she knew Christ. even freezing laundry water, could not cool the passion for life inside of her. if only she knew Christ, even when she is treated like she doesn't exist, she would know that there is One who loves her. if only she knew Christ, even if the rest of her days were lived in a two room house with two other families - cooking and cleaning, she would have a hope that assures her that her life is not a waste. if only she knew Christ she would see that there is a bigger story and she does play a role in it. if only she knew Christ those deep longings that currently show no sign of ever being quieted will be not only satisfied - but fully contented. if only she knew Christ there would be a point to all of this. there would be a point to taking care of her child. there would be a point to doing laundry. there would be a point to submitting to her family. there would be a point to having a mind and body that function well. there would be a point to who she was born as. to where she lives. to who she knows. to who she is.
she is Nebat.
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